do what makes you feel okay inside.
doing hair removal for your partner (i’ve done it, and sometimes still do) doesn’t mean you’re necessarily disempowered, unless you feel like you’ve really got no choice in the matter.
if its a deal-breaker for your partner, it might be an indication that said partner is being a too controlling. it’s your body. that means its your call. end of discussion.
i generally deal with this conundrum by waxing very occasionally, letting things grow for months, or years, and making sure that i always feel like i’m in the driver’s seat. that way, if i decide to wax for a partner to turn them on, I feel like it’s MY gift to them, not THEIR control over my decisions. make sense?
and for the record - and this is not to humble-brag but to prove a point - i’ve slept with TONS OF PEOPLE who you’d probably peg as the type to sleep with femme supermodels.
and when they get in bed with me and my hairy muff, there has never, ever been a problem. nobody has ever recoiled in horror. if you carry yourself with confidence, your sex appeal goes way way deeper than the hair.
and…my own informal personal poll has yielded the interesting fact that most people i know prefer a bush to no bush (both genders). so there’s that.
as my then tour-manager emily white and i used to say on tour in defense of our hairy, unshaven legs:
WE STILL GET LAID.